OK, I Give
OK, first go read Plaid=Joy on A Dress a Day.
Now, I do not care for Ms. Dressaday's sense of fashion. I think most of the clothes and fabrics she loves are the very definition of "made of grandma's kitchen curtains". But she's got one thing right: wear what you love.
To that end, I think I'm going to have to make my own clothes. Because finding something that fits me is not exactly a stroll in the park; by the time I get something to close over my breasts, it's falling off my shoulders--considering I have shoulders like a 75%-scale linebacker that's no easy feat--and let's just forget finding anything that's one piece, since I have no ribcage and my improbably long legs appear to be attached directly to my sternum. And just in case you're wondering, most of these problems will not be solved by losing weight (with the possible exception of the breasts, but I am not letting myself get any hopes up).
This means coming up with a real idea of what looks good on me. I know, for example, that empire waists are right out and that most high necklines are going to make me look like I have uniboob (which makes me cry, because I adore mandarin collars). But other than that, I am lost. Also I must brush up on my sewing skills to avoid the dreaded Loving Hands at Home look.