I did not end up going to work, and now I'm glad.
I took the bike up to the gas station to use the air pump, only to discover that the nozzle didn't interact with my tires correctly; I lost a pound or two every time I tried to put air in, but none ever actually went. So off I went to the triathlon store by the Highland Park Bridge to buy a pump; it's also a hand pump, like the one I already had, but it's the kind where the nozzle sticks to the tire on its own and you can thus devote both hands to pumping. The frame pump I had is OK for dealing with sudden pressure drops on the road, but I literally can't get good pressure into a tire with it because I don't have the upper-body strength to hold the nozzle to the tire with one hand while pumping 60 psi with the other. Even Liam has problems, and that's with me doing the holding for him, because the handle is designed to be collapsable. The new pump, however, is the stand-up kind, so I can lean on it and get my 60 psi with body weight alone.
Anyway, by the time I was done with all this it was about 12:30, which was a little late to head to work. And at 3:50, it started raining really, really hard, and while it's slacked off a bit it certainly hasn't stopped yet. I'd've been soaked to the skin, which isn't itself so bad, but also I would have had to deal with idiot drivers who don't understand rain along with my own decreased control. Not so much fun.