The Y Chromosome and Needlework
A few weeks ago, when I did my review of the fall Knitty, I mentioned the column "Knit Like a Man"--specifically, my annoyance that a man should have a column pretty much because he's a man. The guy who writes it, who seems to be a pretty reasonable person even in the face of me being snarky, showed up to mention that he meant the title in the sort of ironic way, going for the dichotomy of the traditional image of knitting as a girly thing versus the butchness of "Like a Man". And this is all fun and cute and whatnot, and I'm certainly not annoyed at him specifically (although it could be read as if I were; I should have made it more clear that my annoyance was directed at the editors of Knitty, not at the author himself).
However, it all raises a larger issue, that being, how much coddling does a guy get for being a guy in a traditionally women's arena? Despite medieval knitting guilds, which were almost entirely male, there aren't a lot of men these days who knit--in much the same way that you don't meet a lot of male Ashleys, Leslies, or Jocelyns anymore, because those names have been "taken over" by the feminine. Once something is tainted with girliness, males don't use it much anymore1. The default knitter is female; most patterns are proportioned for women; most sizes list the important measurement as "Bust" and don't go up high enough for a large man anyway; etc etc.
So when a male knitter shows up--especially a straight male knitter, because as well all know only gay guys like to do "girl" stuff (insert glyph of rolling eyes here)--it tends to be a biggish deal. For one thing, he'll be praised to high heaven whether he's any damn good or not, and that annoys the fuck out of me. Skill is skill, no matter who's doing the work, and crap is crap. Ugly yarn doesn't suddenly get more attractive, nor bad sizing more fitting, if the knitter is male (or eight, or ninety-five, or a brown-eyed blond, or whatever your small subset of choice happens to be)2.
Second, males tend to get better treatment in knitting venues. I mean, our boy David here tells me that his knitting is only average--the word he uses is "hapless". Yet he has a regular column in Knitty, which despite being online and free is something of a force to be reckoned with in the knitting community: Clapotis, anyone? Amy (the editor) is not a moron, and would not give a column to a person who's not special in some way...and what makes David special? He's a man. Go ahead, try to tell me that, in the large community Knitty has gathered around it, there's no female "hapless" knitter with good writing skills who would like to do a regular column. And yet3.
These issues are hardly confined to knitting, or even needlework in general. Consider how a man who takes care of his children full time is treated. He's something of a freak of nature, but he's praised incessantly for "helping with the kids"--as if it were still his female partner's job, but he's pitching in out of the goodness of his heart. As if he weren't their parent as well.
What irks me about it is a little difficult to put into words. It has to do with the male privileges4 of being able to assume that anything you do is to be considered important, and that anything you do that can be identified as "feminine" should be considered spectacular. It has to do with the assumption that the man in a group of women is the leader, or the most important part, or the center around which the group coalesced. It has to do with the fact that, in French, a group of a hundred adult women and one grammatically-masculine hornet5 is referred to with the masculine "ils". Basically, we're all in it for the sticks and string. Balls should have nothing to do with it.
1: Thankfully, this trend is not universal, and is even reversing in some areas...like knitting.
2: Please do not take this as a bash of the skills of any particular male knitter, including the one who prompted this post. I'm speaking in generalities. It doesn't bug me when good knitters are rightly praised for good work; it bugs me when bad knitters get praise they don't deserve just because they're male/eight/ninety-five...
3: David, I don't mean you should stop writing your column! It's a fine column, I'm just using it as an example.
4: Please, oh males of my readership, do not protest that these are not privileges you want or try to claim. We know that, and know that, if it were up to you, you wouldn't have them. Nonetheless, you do have them. You are not personally responsible and we're not mad at you specifically, but you do have them.
5: Ironically, almost any hornet, bee, wasp or ant one encounters is going to be female, but grammatical gender knows no logic.
Hi again Carrie--